Relationships with others and my overall wellbeing

I'm starting to think my relationships with others may have a greater impact on my overall success and well-being than even my relationship with myself.

Now let's be clear, I'm *not* saying what other people think of me matters more than what I think of myself.

And I'm also *not* saying taking care of myself doesn't matter.

...in case anyone was getting a little riled up. 😉

I'll be the first person to shout about the importance of being kind and caring towards ourselves, always.

But I was listening to Trevor Noah and Esther Perel talk to each other on his recent "What Now?" podcast episode, and this moment made me pause to think.

(Ok let's be honest so many moments made me think - every minute of this episode was fascinating)

Esther, on the topic of creating mental wellbeing for ourselves as individuals, talks about how she's "been looking at what happens *between* people and not just *inside* of people."

She notes, "our mental health models have been very, very focused on what happens inside people… I'm better with myself inside, it will solve all the problems between you and I… And that is sometimes the case, but it is not the whole story… the whole story is also the opposite. If l'm actually, you know, engaged with you, I'm less likely sometimes to think about myself all the time. I can find meaning in doing things for others and find relevance and even get confidence because of how other people see me. Rather than stand alone in front of my mirror and try to say to myself, you're worthy, you're worthy.”

I take this as my reminder to keep my eyes open and look around.
When I'm struggling, or when I need a boost to my morale, yes, I could look in my mirror and say "you're worthy".

Or, I could look outside myself to the relationships in my life - friends, colleagues, acquaintances - and engage with another person, find meaning in doing something for others.

How about you - when was the last time you got a "mental health boost" from engaging with others?

P.S. This episode was two hours long and I would have happily listened to two more. Basically, I could listen to Trevor Noah and Esther Perel talk to each other all day.  I took so many quotes from this podcast, I might even write about it again another day. I have so many thoughts! 💡