Everyone at work was certain I was going to get the promotion.

Everyone at work was certain I was going to get the promotion. They gave it to someone else.

During my years as a stage manager, I worked on several Broadway shows in low-level “production assistant” roles. A level below the Assistant Stage Manager, the PA was considered a gateway role to get promoted to an Assistant position.

And on this particular show, it looked like I finally had my shot.

I was one of four PAs on a show, and I worked my butt off.
I went above and beyond. Proactive. Creative. Juggling all the things.
Union stagehands loved my work (they’re not typically big on compliments).
People in the Producer’s office even noticed me.

The day came. A spot opened up - one PA was getting moved up to Assistant.
A few people congratulated me in advance.


And…. nope. They promoted another PA.

It was such a surprising choice that the person they chose came to me and apologized. She said she was certain it was going to be me, and she didn't understand how they chose her.

I don’t need to go into the “politics” or reasons why I wasn’t chosen - they’re not the point.

Getting passed over showed me exactly what I needed to do to “climb” in that world. And I realized I didn't want to do it.

I loved going the extra mile in my work… sometimes to a fault. 😅
But I realized I didn't want to go the extra mile the way that industry required.

So I stopped playing that game.

I decided to choose instead: Where do I put in my all? Where do I conserve my energy for something that will actually move me forward?

Going the extra mile only works if it takes me somewhere I actually want to go.

When have you realized the 'right' path forward wasn't right for you?


Image: Me screaming as my toes touch the cold Pacific Ocean outside San Francisco, on a trip to visit my then boyfriend (now husband). A trip I would not have been able to take if I’d gotten that promotion… so…