You said “I’m sorry” when you really meant “thank you."

You said “I’m sorry” when you really meant “thank you."

I’ve noticed this pattern recently - most often in high trust conversations.

A friend or colleague shares something painful or frustrating, really opens up…
and then says:
“I’m sorry to bother you with all my mess.”
“I’m sorry for unloading all this negativity.”

Let’s be honest, I’ve caught myself saying this, too.

Here’s what I've noticed, in this context:
“I’m sorry” shifts the energy from openness and care to guilt.
It closes the door.
It says, “This conversation shouldn’t have happened.”
It can even imply, “Your care and support were misplaced.”
It creates distance, right when we could be deepening connection.

When I say “thank you” instead, everything changes.

”Thank you” calls the person in instead of pushing them away.
It says: “Thank you for being there for me.”
“I appreciate your kindness, care, and support.”

“Thank you” leaves the door open.
It strengthens the connection.
It reinforces the relationship.

So I’ve been practicing something simple:
“Thank you for listening.”

Because I want people to know when they’ve given me the support and care I needed. And I want them to leave feeling appreciated, not burdened.

What about you?
Have you ever caught yourself saying “I’m sorry” when you really meant “thank you”?

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